First trimester: Weeks 4 – 5

With my first pregnancy, I was pretty good at keeping track of everything. This time around, I have been forgetting to write things down when they happen. I do have a bunch of journal entries, they’re just not as detailed as I would have liked. As far as I can remember, this pregnancy is fairly similar to my first.

Deciding to have another baby, after losing Khloë, was not easy. When she was alive, Jordan and I always hoped that we could give her a sibling. I wanted to start trying as soon as possible, but I had to wait until my cycles came back–which they finally did when Khloë turned one year old. We know that there is a 25% chance that this baby will have SMA just like Khloë. That means there is a 75% chance that Baby will be perfectly healthy! 25% may seem like a small number, but to us, it’s the number we are most afraid of.

I am trying my hardest to stay positive about this pregnancy. Jordan and I are both very happy about it. We refused invasive genetic testing of the fetus (ie. amniocentesis or CVS) because the results would not change our decision about having the baby. Our plan, after a discussion with our genetic counselor, is baby’s blood will be taken after birth and sent away for testing. When Baby is a few weeks old, we will receive the results. That time frame will feel like an eternity, I don’t doubt.

Anyway, my due date is November 2nd, 2015. So here we go! 🙂

Week 4 (February 23)
The day my period was due, a Monday, I decided to pee on a stick! And lo and behold, it was very positive! I was pretty excited and felt like Khloë had sent us this wonderful gift a mere month after she went to Heaven. The new baby’s due date is November 2nd, which is actually a month before Khloë would have been 2 years old. Of course, after that first burst of excitement came this thought: What if this baby has SMA? I knew that, no matter what, I had to stay positive and deal with those crazy emotions day by day. As soon as Jordan came home from work, I showed him the test and he gave me a silly smile. It’s so hard to get a reaction out of him, but I could tell he was pretty happy!

That same day I contacted the midwife group I used before and left a message. The secretary called me back on Wednesday and said that they would be delighted to have me back! My first appointment was scheduled for March 5th. As for symptoms, this week I was feeling tired, hungry, with mild cramps and jabbings in my uterus. By the end of the week, I noticed my favourite jeans were pretty snug against my belly. Already?!

Week 5 (March 2)
First midwife appointment was on Thursday of this week. I met Megan for the first time (she was on maternity leave during my first pregnancy), and unfortunately I had to explain about Khloë’s diagnosis and passing. She was really sweet and empathetic. We talked about how my first pregnancy and labour went. She sent me home with a requisition for blood work and a dating ultrasound at the small local hospital. That same afternoon the hospital called and scheduled the ultrasound for March 11th. They think I’m actually going to drink a whole litre of water beforehand. Don’t make me laugh!

On Saturday, my mother-in-law called to let us know that the Florida trip was finalized! We are going to surprize them with the news in Florida.

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