Second trimester: Weeks 14 – 17

Week 14 (May 4)
Hello to the second trimester!

Mothers Day occurred this week. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Last year at this time, we took Khloë to the zoo and spent the weekend in Toronto. This year, she is gone. The hardest thing to come to terms with is being her mama but not having her with me to celebrate. Spending all these special holidays without her truly sucks.

On Saturday I felt the baby move for the first time! I felt a rolling sensation while I was sitting on the sofa. I felt it again later in the afternoon. In the evening the baby pushed right up against my lower belly.


Weeks 14-15

Week 15 (May 11)
My weight gain is 6.8 lbs according to the pregnancy app I use. I’m interested to see how much I gain this time around. With Khloë, I gained 38 lbs and gave birth two weeks early. My belly keeps getting in the way; I am definitely bigger this time around, equivalent to around 18 weeks with Khloë. I’ve been sleeping on my left side but tend to wake up on my back.

On Thursday I saw my midwife. The baby’s heart rate is 150 bpm and my blood pressure is low at 100/60. Weight gain was at 8.6 lbs.

We also spent Friday to Monday in Kingston for the long weekend. The Nicholsons looked after the baby chicks for us. On the Saturday we went to Leeder Monuments and picked out a beautiful red heart-shaped monument for Khloë. Then we stayed overnight at the cottage. I slept poorly because I kept having nightmares about saving Khloë’s life over and over again. My mom did a nice barbecue lunch for us on Sunday.

Week 16 (May 18)
I’m getting so anxious for the anatomy scan! A few more weeks away… Not much to report this week, other than we had the Nicholsons over for dinner. Their two boys love our chickens. They still talk about the time they were “chicken farmers” while we were away.


Weeks 16-17

Week 17 (May 25)
I cleaned up the blender and made my first summer smoothie this week. I love drinking them when it’s warm out–milk, banana, frozen berries, greens, yogurt, and probiotic. I even poured the leftovers into popsicle molds. And then later I made home-made fudgsicles! I was outside catching chickens on Thursday when I heard someone call my name. I turned around and there was my mom and aunt and uncle! They decided to stop in on their way up north for a quick visit. On the Sunday they actually stopped in on their way back from my cousin’s graduation. I made pasta salad, sausages, and lemon cream squares for lunch. I’m at 12 lbs gained.

A letter to our baby girl

A letter to our baby girl on the day of her celebration of life:

January 21, 2015
Dear Khloë,

On the day you entered the world, your Daddy and I became the happiest people on earth. We were given a perfect little girl. We knew we would do anything for you, no matter what. You already had us wrapped around your finger. Watching you grow from a teeny baby into a toddler has been a privilege.

Our favourite part of the day was waking up and going into your room to be greeted by a big smile. You knew that we were there to give you a kiss and bring you out to the living room to play. And did you ever like to play! It didn’t matter that your body was weak; you still found a way to stuff Sharkie in your mouth, toss your Do Not Enter sign on the floor so we had to pick it up over and over again, or play xylophone and strum the guitar with Daddy. The look in your blue eyes whenever you discovered something new was priceless.

You were one lucky girl, let me tell you!

Khloë, you were the strongest little person we knew. You fought a terrible disease every single day, but didn’t let it get you down.

We have so many wonderful memories of you, Sweet Pea: your first laugh, dressing you up for photo shoots, playing peek-a-boo under a blanket, swimming in the tub, camping in Bar Harbor, and the first time you said “a-bah a-bah” which sounded suspiciously like a chicken bawking.

Daddy and I will never forget the light you brought to our lives. Today we celebrate your beautiful life.

Hugs and kisses,
Momma and Dadda

Khloë: Forever 13 months old

It is with a heavy heart that I make this post… On January 16th, our sweet girl lost her fight with Spinal Muscular Atrophy.


December 3, 2013 - January 16, 2015

December 3, 2013 – January 16, 2015


We are heartbroken.

Khloë was hospitalized on January 12th with aspiration pneumonia and a collapsed lung. She passed away from complications from these issues. Her body was too weak. Jordan and I, as well as close friends and family, were with her to the very end.

We love you, Sweet Pea.

I will add missing journal entries when I feel that I am able to.